4/5 No Long Run

After a 'late' and food filled night at some friends, and a crappy night filled with night sweats, and a mild version of whatever Val has had, I bailed out of my run when the alarm went off at 5am.

The backup plan was to go out after Kaitlyn went to bed and get the 6 or 7 miles I needed to make this an 'official' down week (75% of up mileage). After 4 hours of yard work, another heavy dinner with friends, I hit the wall when I got home. I could barely make it to bed, so I wrote off the backup plan and went to bed.

After talking with Val about it, I don't even feel too bad about it. :) I needed the rest, and for me and my head space anyway, it was a proof of how much of running is a head game.

I've had motivation/whatever issues since I did the VO2/metabolic testing a few weeks ago. Here are some of the things going through my head Sunday morning. And below them are some of the reality checks that I've found, or Val helped me find.

1. I'm feeling guilty about the time on the road on the weekens and that I'm neglecting Val and Kaitlyn. This was exacerbated by the fact that last weeks long run was essentially 3 1/2 hours thanks to the newly lowered heart rate. Somewhere in my head I have a 3 hour limit, except for the peak of the training cycle. And being in 'base building' 13 weeks before the marathon doesn't feel like peak. It feels like 'normal' running, or where I think I'd like to be in the long term.

>>Valerie rather succinctly pointed out that I'm projecting. A lot. I've been making sure I run at work, or in the evenings, or getting up early, and she doesn't have any problems with my weekend runs. 6 hour runs might be a problem, but not my current schedule. :) Ah, codependency.

2. Val had suggested that a more consistent run schedule (distance specifically) might stabilize my hunger and my weigh-ins making lopping of these last 10 pounds easier physically and psychologically. I haven't talked about it much but I can fluctuate 3-5 pounds of the course of a week for no apparent reason other than long runs. Peak on morning of long run, bottom out two days after long run. Every week. So what do I weigh? Where's the baseline. How do I know I'm actually making progress? And how shitty is it to see 175 the day after 172. Or 176 the day after that. And then 173. Etc...

>>This may be true, and Val has the right idea again as a solution... Do what I can with the next few months. If that means not worrying about losing weight, and just staying stable, cool. Worry about it in the months after RnR Seattle. Even if I decide to run Seattle again, I've got 5 months after RnR to lose some weight and train. And I'll certainly have some base built. :)

3. I'm not sure I'm a believer in the base training philosophy. Despite the fact that I saw 40 seconds of improvement in times doing the last two cycles 'wrong' at too high a heart rate. I don't see how it works, and almost everything I read says I should be doing lactate threshold work to improve my lactate threshold to get faster. Just having to be running more slowly is messing with me. I feel like I was making some progress, and then I was told "You're doing it wrong. Do it again."

>> Val asked me how my 'fast' 18 went 3 weeks ago: 9:36/mile. How did it go last week: 11:15/mile. How did you feel after the 'fast' run: Like I could run another couple miles. Definitely not eight. Short run?: Like I could run 8 more if I had morewater and gels. And... Took me a few seconds and then I got the point. My 9 mile runs are more palatable going from 9:46/mile, to 10:40/mile for the most recent, which gives me some hope. If I can keep that pace for 18, and over this training cycle lop off 20 more seconds (which maps to last training cycles) I come in under last marathon by a touch.

>>I just need to trust Eric, and the test, and the way it was conducted, and get off my butt and email him some of the questions I have instead of trying to figure it out myself.

4. I'm wondering what the eff I'm doing running 48 miles a week, with a goal of even higher mileage, if I can get better by just running slower. The extra mileage doesn't seem like it's gaining me anything. It's just for ego. And if I'm not going to run faster or much faster than the first marathon, why should I run 50ish miles a week, when I could probably do it on 40.

>>Val couldn't help with this one, but I finally found a reference that talks about increased volume as a way to increase lactate threshold (and thus go faster). (http://www.unm.edu/~lkravitz/Article%20folder/lactatethreshold.html). It didn't need much, since I'm enjoying the higher volume, and I seem to be able to deal with it physically so far. :) I just needed to know the effor wasn't just junk miles. Also see #1. :)

5. The thought that I'm not even guaranteed of finishing faster than my last marathon, even with much higher mileage, and longer lead time makes me wish I hadn't registered till I knew I could absolutely perform better.

>> Since I'm supposed to be running at this same heart rate for the marathon, I'll certainly know what my marathon pace is. :) I may not be guaranteed of a better time. Eric thought it was very likely, however. But if not, at leas I'm gontrolling the race. Walking will be for a reson, my physical comfort level and enjoyment of the race will be much better.

OK, that's it. :) Like I said, I just wan't in a great headspace. It's take a few conversations and a nights sleep to pop me back into a better place. Now I get some clarifications on some things from Eric and get back on the road this afternoon.